I lost 11 lbs in less than 2 weeks. She has quite a few friends and is self reliant. If a woman is not sorry or sad that a the father of her child and husband of 4 years . Kind regards, The GoodTherapy Team, It is a real shame that my ex wife turned out to be a real filthy low life, since at that time that i was married which i was the very faithful and committed one in the relationship. After about a week of begging to see my kids she finally agreed. Or he /she is crazy!!! I know he hurt you really badly and broke your heart, but that doesnt mean that he cant fix it. I know it hurts, my husband left me too. My husband filed a bogus Restraining Order and threw me out if my home. I lost my dad a few years ago. My wife and friend are not really communicating and when they said they wanted to be friends I think they wanted amicable aquanties. It was so scary. I dnt no wat to do. I am caught between being committed to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff and being tired of all the conflict and chaos. god help me to get through this. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. So I tried suicide at 23 and from that failure I ended up getting professional help for the first time to gain understanding of why I was the way I was. By Saturday morning I am calling nonstop everyone, her parents etc. Get your big boy pants on and realize that shes got a screw loose and youre not a mechanic. He had freedom to hang with his friends and even was lucky enough to have a swinger lifestyle and a socially bi wife that had tons of fun with him in our adult fun life style. Thank you for your comment and for visiting the GoodTherapy blog. Love is blind, but Im not so blind any more. I Cheated On My Husband & The Experience Changed Me Forever - Bolde While cutting your hair may be regrettable, more harmful decisions may result in challenges down the road, such as substance misuse. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important. Thats were the acceptance came into play . He worked days. Pschycopath, sociopath or narcissist, because he has no empathy, guilt, nothing, no feeling..this is hard for me to grasp, because I feel its my fault and I have fix it or me There You go!! I wrote u because I feel your pain. College educated with jobs. I feel so hurt. Everything I am not!! I figured it just didnt work out with them but now our baby is 10 months and he does not pay bills help clean help with the kids. Any suggestions? I was left in April, with two teenagers for a man who claims he wasnt happy for 10 years. I think we both used sex to cope with stress. She came back after months and said wow you have changed! We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time; our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext. For many people, abusive behavior and infidelity are signs that a marriage is beyond repair. Breaks my heart and puts my own unfortunate situation in perspective. Im routing for you 100%! Still cant believe after a year and a half of unimaginable pain and recovery, I went back to help. I just dont know if I should let her go and TRY to move on or keep fighting for her. 2. My heart goes out to you and I wrote this in hopes to give you faith that just as well as evil there is still good. Congrats!! I let her go once before many years ago and it was truly the biggest mistake of our lives. She will regret it one day and when she do you will be in a better place mentally and moved on with another woman and that will be your revenge on her. So he had plenty of time to do what he wanted to do. My now separated wife has called the police on me for suicide watch (ive never been suicidal) and also called childrens aid because I might be a physical danger to our son (the only hitting Ive ever done is on the hockey rink). I told him that Im willing to take him back despite of what hes done but it looks like he cant stop talking to this person. Put me down controlled me ..I Was a walking living breathing definition of a battered husband. He created us & gave us a plan to follow (bible). In shock I could barely breath I was on the floor shaking and he did nothing. Hey there all. Granted, I was pretty screwed up but I found a new place, was diagnosed with PTSD, arranged therapies, and prepared to leave. There are reasons homosexuals hide things like that from loved ones. She stayed in the house wanting to go straight from our house to her new one. I dont doubt she cares for you, but you cannot have your cake and eat it too. WHY?????? We have a beautiful son together. I have been married for 27 years and we dated for 4 years. And got into dark goth vampire stuff.she told me it was all just a joke. I like CassieDbut its getting to be almost a half of a year since she has posted. I dont know how tomtell friends/ the kids, the family. This is what divorce looks like after 50 years of marriage - New York Post Fed up of the assumptions that there is another man involved ha! My break up was a combination of factors above and under each one Andra (the author) has captured the essence. I am devastated we have 3 children and one doing his GCSEs I am a mess my daughter keeps questioning me and Im trying to hold it together but Im in so much pain and I cant imagine my life without him If you would like to talk with a therapist or other mental health professional, you can use our website to find one in your area: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. As hard as it might be to hear, there might have been some ongoing issues that had not been dealt with, which is why it might seem unexpected for one partner, but it has been brewing under the surface for a while, says Diana Garcia, a licensed mental health counselor from Weston, Florida. My wife is leaving me after 24 years and I was great to her and she even admitted it but got bored with me and started treating me terrible. Its just an observation but she seems to have also removed all responsibility from her life its scary. It does get easier, I promise. I care about love and passion and family, but if I tell him he laughs and says we dont need that. !! Im learning that even though I love him, I cant help or change him and I deserve a man that really loves me and my kids. I never wanted any sort of separation or break. The night we separated he told me he loved me but, Not in that way anymore. Her own mother confronted her and gave her 2 days to tell me. I am drowning in my grief. The strategies Brad reveals are extremely powerful and might make the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy divorce. Moffa, now 76, had been married 52 years, and . He made me feel like it was me, I realized later it was not and can not believe I spent so much time allowing him to make me feel this way. I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with Mint Movement, I want you to know you are not alone. Few years back as a woman in her mid-40s she had an affair with and 18 year old from the church and declared in a violent rage it was my fault for not making her happy Yikes! If youre feeling like you want to get over this pain and suffering, the last step you have to take is very important. But I would rather have my wife then 10 million $. He had decided that this life, our life, wasnt for him. Its awful to feel rejected. Not knowing how to express their feelings safely, they may, in turn, leave as a means of avoidance. Im wondering how you are feeling? He told me not to cry, he couldnt handle it. I smile all the time, Im happy and content despite the mess my marriage is in. They gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship, including practical advice on how to overcome the issues I was facing. He is indicating he has no power to change; you have all the power. Heather omg I read your article you wrote and this is so real I honestly wish I had that support from you Im 26 years old with 2 kids and my life has been hurtful and heartbreaking within my relationship I dont want to drag a long story out but I recently got married in Jan and my husband just left me with no explanation in 2 months of our marriage but I have some proof on my end. She always eyeballed a house that her male boss was selling. Her boss can have her, she will do the same thing to him. Been married 30 years. Refuses to consider the possibility that if she actually wanted this back she would have to at least remove 100% every single reminder to me, just like she did for him when she moved him into my bed so quick Im sure he still smelt my farts lol. Hi Andy They make promises, to you and your children, and when those promises are . Best wishes. Ive let go, Ive got my life back and cant wait to hear you and others on this site can feel the same way . She tried to abduct our son from daycare and it only didnt happen because my daycare worker knew of my wifes history and that Im more of the primary caregiver because of her instability. Had a six month affair with my real estate agent next door. I could not agree with you more. We'd love to hear your stories. Then the on the Wednesday he told me he was leaving. She gets outraged and calls me every name in the book and thats that. Wed been having problems. That discovery changed my fragile mind even more it made my psychically ill and my immediate thought was that I had caused so much angst with this lovely woman that she changed her values and that that PAIN is what really kills me. They are in a place where they dont have any clarity and theyre in the middle of a crisis. My virginity was stolen from me raped at the age of 14 by 2 people I thought were my friends. We both love our children and our siblings and dont want to hurt them more than we already have. very hard. Hope things are looking up for you. If those people were true friends they would tell them that what they are doing or have done is wrong . I work part time supporting in a school. Do something nice fir her, like send flowers and say in the note dont give up in me yet. Something that may make her reconsider. A few weeks have now passed and Xmas has come and gone and no kids for me, nothing. I have read this article and Im still trying to get my head around my wife wanting to leave me (married 1 year 11 months, together 7 years) for a guy she has only known for a few weeks and I cant understand why she would want this. Its one thing to be emotionally abused its another thing to be financially abused. And I have plenty of divorced friends who are now happy. I am going through it myself. He told me in one go that he felt our marriage was over and also that he had been having a thing with another woman for two weeks. I feel no small amount guilt for feeling relief at her leaving. I am going through another divorce with my business partner, she will be leaving my office October . Terrible Signs Your Husband Is Unhappy In Marriage In the gloomy pale shadow of the night, Samantha lies on her bed. I am dealing with being invited to his brothers for thanksgiving. My Husband Left Me for Another Woman - Accepting the Reality - Marriage His battlefield far out weighs ours! I love my children and feel I am stuck between it all Surviving; my job; my children and my new love. Ive just found out hes been messaging an ex alot but swears only messaging. No no no! It might not seem this way, but maybe he just wasnt in love with you anymore. Hello all im still Jon.and yes Im still sad and miserable and confused and lonely.. Why hasnt society caught up with that? Cant eat or sleep, I feel depressed. I was a stay Hm dad for 3 years and I think it caused the divorce. Give him a time frame. You can follow her on Instagram here. I have no ideas that will provide you comfort. after 45 years i gave into Separation in 2012, and he insisted on A Divorce and and started on in Sept 2012 which was bitter and financially. I feel like reason 3 and 5 go so hand in hand, which is what I did in my marriage I couldnt stand the emotional abuse anymore. The very best i could do is tip toe and stear her away from the many triggers for her depression and rage. I am so sorry this happened to you. As woman we must always trust our gut, I wish I had so many times. I thought to myself what the fk? I do not know what to do. Give your kids a Merry Christmas and an amazing role model for the new year. I live by this rule. As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. About a month ago, I separated from him because I did not feel like he actually loved me. He said he filed for divorce on April 14. My husband of 5 years told me he no longer loves me about 4 months ago. I still work full time. 15 Subtle Signs A Man Feels Stuck In An Unhappy Marriage Earlier that day she had told my mom she was leaving again but not in a bad way. The effects of both of those events, coupled to an unloved / loving home run by a dictator and supported by my mothers passiveness, my sexuality was warped and I became very adept at being alone. He also uses the excuse that my 2 sons, not his btw, are too much for him to handle. After 24 years of marriage, and 27 years of being together, my wife told me she no longer was in love with me. He drove all the way home at midnight. I know its hard and you might want your husband or another person to be there for you, but thats just not going to happen right away. I have decided my happiness is what I need. I found out last Friday (after him denying it over and over) that he is having an affair. Finding that on Facebook is a huge red flag. After it finally sunk in that the man I thought Id married was obviously not and whats more he wasnt even trying to cover up or be nice any more. More must be done. During this time my Family saw the truth, because my ex husband and his girlfriend did so many cruel things. We both have busy jobs and he works away Mon- Fri. My Husband Has Left Me - What Do I Do Now? - Andrew G. Marshall I can see people are very emotional and have missed that these are the top 5 reasons not the only reasons cos obviously the list could be very long if that were the case. By left me I mean that she asked me to leave. and yes even now he is with his lover and left me in another state by myself. What can ido to ease her pain and stop from having a second divorce? Very interesting info!Perfect just what I was searching for! My husband thinks he has depression and has left me. | Mumsnet